Going Forward

I Chose 

Sorrow for 2 precious children I  loved and lost. 

But going forward I choose 

Celebration for the chance  I had to love them. 

I Chose

Fear of my little sisters’ future, and of mine without them. 

But going forward I choose

Faith that God will take care of them and me

I Chose

Bitterness at the people who took away our greatest Joys

But going forward I choose

Forgiveness and a hope that what they did was the right thing

I Chose

Selfishness, believing my Love doesn’t need to be part of  my pain

But going forward I choose

Sharing my hurts with him, understanding that when I hurt, he hurts too 

I Chose

To bury the amazing happy memories that make me miss my tinyGirls incomprehensibly

But going forward I choose

To remember and to rejoice in the memories and in the love and bond of sisterhood that we share 

My dreams

Bring them to my mind almost every night and I wake up with Fire Girl and Flower Girl vivid in my mind and my heart crying. 

I Chose 

To use these dreams and thoughts to make me sad, to remind me of what I lost. 

But going forward I choose

To think of them when I wake up, with a prayer for their happiness and safety and to cherish my memories of them as a precious gift

I’m not the only one mourning the loss of people I love. Loss comes to different in so many different ways, I see now, and, it seems, no matter how much you know it’s coming it’s always unexpected.  Love and tears to you who are mourning the loss of someone you love. The Sunset Watcher