It’s hard to write about now.
Everything is visceral and intense.
The emotions, bigger and better and more complicated than I imagined.
The actions. Hours and hours of breast feeding. The many is-he-still-breathing checks I perform in my newmom paranoia.
The state of being. No being alone. ever. Semi exhausted but also motivated and euphoric when it comes to the small human.
The secrecy. Eavesdropping on BébéB having deep conversations with his daddy. Keeping the secrets he shares with me during his 4am diaper changes.
The feelings. So much delight in BébéB’s smiles and coos. So much excitement and pride in when he learns new things. So much love when I look into his blue blue eyes and see them crinkle in a smile.
The ways my self and my life have metamorphosed in the last two months: not at all but also completely.
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