the Good Things

The Good Things 

I feel like I’ve been living a nightmare since last week Wednesday. Find the good things, BTT says. Of course, he is one of them. Here are more of the good things. 

The prayers a lot of people are praying. I know people are, they’ve told me that. And these prayers are being answered. Also. @grandmamavis is such a prayer warrior. 

All the new things Bébé B is learning even in a hospital room tethered to an IV machine. 

The all’s right with the world feeling when BTT and Bébé B and I all fall asleep under the same roof. 

Hope that treatment plans will be worked out and we’ll be home soon. This hope has been very tenuous at times; tonight it’s stronger. 

The many people I’ve met these last nightmarish 1.5 weeks. Sometimes i see them for only minutes. Sometimes we don’t exchange any pleasantries. I am not a people person so being forced to come into contact with so many strangers is overwhelming. Still, I like the times when  I find out how many grandchildren someone has or the names of someone’s kids or why someone regrets choosing the job they did or why someone loves their job or about someone’s wife’s pregnancy complications or where someone grew up or who knows someone who shares my baby’s name. I like finding relatable things about the strangers. 

The woman smoking under the No Smoking sign outside the hospital door who made my day with her uplifting comment, “you look snazzy in green.”

Our local hospital supports and advocates cosleeping even though the big city one doesn’t as we found out abruptly and sleepily at 2am. 

The sacrifices people have made so our child could receive the care he needs. Specifically

1 . The man who “has a thousand children” (his coworker’s words) who stayed at work late to care for Bébé B. He probably skipped having supper with his wife and all his kids to help us, BTT pointed out. Really it was his SO and 1000 children who made most of the sacrifice.  

2 . That unnamed child somewhere in Regina General who is still waiting because bébé B received the IV line meant for him. Our child was somehow prioritized over someone else’s child and we are so grateful. My heart is also hurting for the child and the child’s parents who are still waiting. 

This child who makes us so joyful in hard times. His epic whole-face smiles and his sparkly blue blue eyes. His cuddly chubby body cuddled against my shoulder. His conversations. (is he always going to be this talkative?)  The fact that two months in we still argue sometimes about who gets to hold him.

One Year Later 

I’m posting this on Canada Day, remembering my July 1st post from last year.  It’s been another Canada Day filled with heart ache and mixed emotions across my country. Canada, or rather Canadians, have had a rough couple years. We’re struggling to reconcile our differing opinions on how our country should function through the pandemic and into the future. We’re struggling to respectfully acknowledge and mourn a terrible past, the horrific things our country as we know it today was built upon and move forward. The words of our national anthem ring truer than ever tonight, God, keep our land. God, keep our people.