My Life With an Autoimmune Disease and Becoming a Wife and Mama ☆guest post☆

Today, a guest post from my friend who is also my cousin.

My Life With an Autoimmune Disease and Becoming a Wife and Mama

☆guest post☆

I was diagnosed with JRA,(Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis), when I was one year old. I have never known life without it. I learned to walk approximately a month before I turned 2. It was a miracle and I am very grateful to God that I'm not in a wheelchair. My parents could tell you more about the early days, months, and years of this than I can. I'll try and give you a little glimpse of how my life has been. 

RA has definitely made my life painful and not always very easy. I haven't been able to do everything my friends were doing such as running fast or playing well at games and sports in school. Some sports I didn't participate in at all. (I went to our private church school for 9 years.) I also have suffered from side effects of medications at times. After I had graduated from grade 9 I was able to do some babysitting. When I was 16 and a half I started working part-time babysitting a darling baby boy. That job became more full time and I was there when another darling baby boy joined the family and I stayed with them till the oldest was 6 and the youngest was 3. Then I headed off an hour from home to teach school in another of our private church schools. I stayed there for 2 school terms, had a few months off and headed off to Edmonton to volunteer for 6 months. Then I came home and taught in another of our church schools closer to home for one school term. When that school term was over I guess I figured that with me having arthritis and all and I was 26.5, I wasn't going to get married, so I accepted this fact. Soon after that acceptance, I received a proposal from my fellow teacher. I said yes. During these different stages of life I suffered from various arthritis flare ups, pain, side effects from meds, etc. During our engagement I changed my arthritis meds because the one I was on was making me feel nauseated and sick a lot of the time. This new med didn't make me feel this way thankfully. We got married and enjoyed young couple life. Of course there are adjustments to a new life. And my health was not the best. I didn't have a lot of energy and I couldn't garden because kneeling is pretty painful for my knees. I know my yard wasn't beautiful and it hurt sometimes to know that and wonder what others were thinking. I compared to other young married women and I didn't do a lot of things that they did. I've had to realize and remind myself many times that people will not always understand and I shouldn't compare either. It hurts sometimes but a person has to get over that. And not only that! I need to remind myself many times not to judge others either. Arthritis is an invisible disease to a certain extent. I don't know what invisible things others are dealing with. I hope and pray I can be understanding. I also want to say that my life wasn't all discouraging and filled with pain. I've had many happy times and blessings too. Now I'll write a little on getting myself to motherhood. 

First of all I asked my rheumatologist what the chances were of me having a child with RA. I don't remember numbers, but he told me that the chance of me having a child with RA is only slightly higher than for someone who doesn't have RA. 

When you are on certain types of meds you can't get pregnant while you are on them. That's how it was for me. This meant going off of my medication, cleansing it from my body and waiting a certain amount of months before trying to get pregnant. During that time my arthritis majorly flared and I could hardly walk. So they put me on a pregnancy-safe med and I didn't get pregnant. Finally I found out that this particular med can mess with your cycles. So I switched meds and it didn't take long after that. My pregnancy was not all easy. Morning sickness, sinus infection, scary arthritis flare, and the pandemic. But I made it to 40 weeks...

MOTHERHOOD 

In summer 2020 our dear little C was born, via emergency c-section. She was born right on my due date. A tiny little thing, but the sweetest little thing. We were in the hospital for a couple of days before we went home. Then my husband was home the rest of the week before going back to work. Because I had c-section I had to have full time help so our families pitched in, especially my mother and my mother in law. Also the church ladies brought meals. About 2 weeks postpartum, I landed up back in the hospital with infection on my incision. Little C and my husband were with me there. Once we were home again I had to have home care come in to do dressing changes. Our moms continued to help us. I feel like the newborn stage was not the most fun for me because of all the extra complications, but I adored our sweet little baby even if it meant getting up a lot at night. Being in a pandemic with unbearable lockdowns, having RA, and having a baby didn't make life very easy. I relied on my mom a lot when my husband was at work. I was depressed at times. BUT there are so many joys in motherhood and I believe that they far outweigh the bad things that happened/happen. Watching a baby develop is so much fun! Learning to eat cereal and baby food from a jar, learning to move around, playing with toys, giggling,  cooing, talking, getting teeth(not all fun), learning to crawl, eating table food, and so much more! Little C is my life. She is now a year old. No, I still don't get everything done. My yard isn't beautiful, I don't always get meals cooked, and our house is often dirty. But my husband is so good about bringing food home or helping cook. (We also have some meals at our parents' places.) My husband helps with other jobs too.

I have to remind myself that the most important thing as a mama is keeping my little one happy. Reading to her, singing to her, feeding her, talking to her. Yes, I have to get laundry and dishes done, but she will play happily a lot of times while I'm busy. Sometimes she likes to come "help" me. I love her so much! She is the joy and happiness in my day. So is my husband! It's fun to make him happy too! When I feel up to it, I enjoy cooking a good meal. 

Some days are easier than others. Some days I feel like I hardly get anything done. Little C maybe had a bad night and so I'm tired and don't get a lot done. Sometimes dishes are stacked up in the sink for a week or more. Sometimes they get done every day. Thankfully I have a dishwasher so a lot of the dishes go in there. 

I feel like I'm jumping around with my thoughts here a little. Another thing about having arthritis and being a mom is that the first how many months of Little C's life she mostly got her baths at my mom's house. I can't kneel on my knees so to kneel on the floor by a bathtub wasn't an option. My mom has a nice big laundry sink where we gave Little C her baths. Now she is big enough she can have baths at home. I had to bathe with her the first while because she was scared of the running water but now she loves baths and I sit on the edge to watch her play and wash her. 

One more thing. I feel so grateful for my husband! In the evenings he generally takes care of Little C while I quickly finish up some work, have a shower, and take a rest in bed reading and just relaxing. I need this so I can keep on being the happy Mama I want to be.

Being a wife and Mama isn't always easy when you have RA. But it is 100% worth it!!!