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Thursday, 5 October 2023

Broken In

Broken in. my favourite cast iron pan, my most used pizza stones, BTT’s grandma’s timeless cutlery that graces our table at every meal, the tired sweatshirt that is still the coziest one I own. A pair of shoes I’ve owned for years. Some things work better after you break them in. 

Broken in. People can be broken in too. 
The ones who’ve had children almost die or lost babies. The ones who’ve lived through financial ruin. People who’ve taught dozens of students and maneuvered years of tricky relationships with parents and boards. The ones who’ve experienced trauma after trauma but still have a shaky smile or kind word to give. The ones who are a little lost and a little confused and admit it. People who’ve lived most of their life in pain, physical, mental. People who’ve loved and cared for other people’s children for decades. People who’ve lost or had to let go of the people they love. People who have recognized a negative behaviour or trait in themselves and worked to change it. People who’ve come back from the depth of despair, the brink of death, or the cold corners of hatred or anger. People who have had mostly smooth sailing, but allowed the little hiccups of life to sand them down and make them look a little more broken in.  

broken in doesn’t mean we’re worn out. It doesn’t even we’re mean broken, although some of us are or have been. Broken-in people are people who’ve lived through something hard and instead of breaking at their weak spots or after breaking at their weak spots, they heal, they become stronger. The wear and tear of life shows on them, but it hasn’t destroyed them.  

I go to church with so many broken-in people and I love that about them. I meet them in stores, they sit on my couches. They stand in my entrance and focus on my wear and tear and not their own; I want to learn to do this. 

My grandma once told me something that comes back lto me periodically: “As people age, they either get better or they get bitter”. Tonight I’m rephrasing this for myself. Am I letting life wear me out or break me in ?

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