More Learned

This time, it's been 6 weeks since I've been home.  It isn't long compared to some times I have been gone. But for some reason, as I was driving home,  I suddenly realized that I have learned a lot in those 6 weeks.

I've found wishing I was somewhere else is really quite useless because wishing won't transport me to the place I want to be right now. Through that, I've learned that where I am is the best place for me. It must be, otherwise God wouldn't have put me there.

I've learned to avoid boredom.  I stay busy. I do things for others. I work at school late at night (a rather addictive habit.) I socialize every chance I get, not because the parties are amazing but because I hate to be alone.
I walk miles every day because I cannot sit silent and alone for hours without insanity intruding. I don't know why God is teaching me to embrace loneliness and change it into productivity but He is.
As much as possible for someone as dependant on human company as I am, I've gotten used to the loneliness. To doing things alone. Driving everywhere alone. Cooking alone. Eating alone (some nights). Hanging out alone (albeit I am not spectacular company for myself). I'm learning that God is my companion; I can say to Him what I would say if my sister was with me.

I've learned that I am so much stronger than I knew I could be but I've also realized the stark reality of my susceptibility and weakness. And, ironically, my strongest moments (or the moments when I feel strong) usually happen to be my weakest.

I've learned about contentment. You know the verse "godliness with contentment is great gain?"  From sources unknown to me and most definitely known to God, that verse goes through my mind in some of my most unhappy moments.

When I think about it, I've learned a lot. And because I'm going Home, today I feel victorious.

-The Sunset Watcher, a week later....