My Name is Peter

I am cowering tonight, feeling guilty. I've just learned how vulnerable I am.
I purposed that No, of course I wouldn't deny my Jesus. Of course I'll always stand up for Him and for my Faith. But If i would've paid attention, Jesus was probably quietly saying that "before the night is over, you will deny me."  Luke 22.34
I was having a fun evening. And that's good.  Most of the people I was with are people who follow my Jesus too. But even with those people, it's sometimes not cool to admit it. And when someone told me, "you are one of Jesus's disciples," Luke 22.56 though in modern speech it sounded more like "you're so pious," l instantly retaliated with a suspiciously vehement "of course I'm not! I do a lot worse things than you do!"  sort of answer Luke 22.57. And minutes later as the clock on my phone silently struck 1am Luke 22.60, I felt Jesus's eyes on me and wondered why I had denied Him. Luke 22.61
I disappointed my strong personal convictions.  I went against the things I believe and stand for. I adopted the prevalent attitude of indifference. I allowed other people's opinions of me to define me and tailored my words and actions to fit what I knew my companions would approve of.
But exactly what i did doesn't  matter much to me. It's the fact that what I did was denying my Jesus.
And like Peter, my heart is crying bitterly. Luke 22.62

*in case you are unfamiliar with the
story of a man named Peter denying
his God 3 times in the space of one
night, refer to Luke 22 in the Bible