Small Town Drama

 Election 2020, Smalltown, Saskatchewan 

While most of you were sitting on pins and needles these last few weeks staring at the spotlight the United States of America was monopolizing, the 70 residents of my town had their focus on a similarly dramatic election taking place on a much smaller scale in this little village. And when I say village, don’t think sleepy, serene, pleasant, picturesque. While it might appear that way if you just drive through here (and if you do this, please, watch your speedometer! Though you may not see them, people will be peering though slits in their curtains and will absolutely report you to the authorities if they think you might be going even 1 kilometre over speed limit.) looks are deceiving. If you’re going to imagine my village, imagine calm on the surface, but when no one is looking, it shows it’s true Wild West colours, and where almost everyone fits into one or more of the following categories: crotchety old person, drunkard, thief, drug dealer/user. I am a big believer in not labeling people, and I do try to remain objective, but when people repeat their actions enough times it gets pretty difficult not to toss them into corresponding boxes. I have gotten to know some of these people personally and become friends with them, and only then do I realize that they are humans with good deeds and fun personalities instead of just calling them by their boxes. On to the elections now. 

We have a neighbor. I may have written about him before. BTT was friends with this neighbour, named PK, before I ever met him and has made a point to spend time with this man, who always seems to need a friend/ listening automaton, once or twice a week. PK is the village everything-man. He grades the roads, mows the grass, fixes whatever is broken, purifies the water, fills in the potholes, keeps the pipes clean, along with more jobs that I probably don’t even know about or else forget.  He does everything, for next to no pay. He is 80 years old. He also fights with everyone in the town. This is the problem. This is also a long story. And it’s also everyone else’s fault. This is probably true, at least 50% of the time. People swear at PK daily as he drives through the town minding his own business while also doing his best to poke his nose into theirs. They disagree with his admittedly biased and unwavering  opinions. They purposely drive within inches of him as he works hard each spring putting in speed bumps to annoy the populace.  And these are just the things BTT and I have witnessed with our own eyes/ears in our years of living in this town. Is he an annoying, confrontational, over opinionated, uncouth old man ? (Check out how many boxes I think he fits in!) Absolutely. Is he harmless, generous, and, dare I say, thoughtful and kind to the people who respect him? There isn’t a doubt! Look at the way he dotes on T, or how he is at school every winter in time to give the kids access to the fire hydrant to flood their rink, or how he loves to treat us (and especially BTT) to restaurant food whenever he can spare the money. Moving on.

Like in every election, this town had the good guys and the bad guys. Which party you thought fit the good guys title depended, like usual, who’s side you were on. 

PARTY 1 CAMPAIGN 

*mayoral candidate refuses to show criminal record check 

*mayoral candidate also being investigated for embezzlement after all taxes for the years she worked as administrator in the town office mysteriously unaccounted for

*husband of mayoral candidate fired from job working alongside aforementioned PK after doubling the amount of hours he actually worked when it came time to be paid

*plans to fire PK the annoying town man IMMEDIATELY and hire ???? Mayoral Candidate’s husband??? to take his place

PART 2 CAMPAIGN

*no criminal records or police investigations

*will not fire PK

*basically only running for the sake of opposition, so evil will not prevail by default 

Guess who won. The lethargic good did not triumph in our small town this year, But The losers aren’t happy. There are angry notes left  on the town office door criticizing the new mayor and complimenting the people who did NOT vote for her. Unhappy citizens are predicting the immanent dire downfall of this already fallen Village. The town admin, who says she will not work for the new “government,” is threatening to quit. My husband and I  have faced some criticism for our stance on remaining uninvolved in politics and voting; PK especially spoke very harshly to Brent about that, but then he called the next day to apologize and make sure their friendship was still intact.

This is life in rural Saskatchewan: Pettiness and drama with a touch of the Wild West hovering in its darker corners. 

*literary liberty was taken in this writing. Events may have been emphasized, but each happening is factual (to the best of my knowledge) and likely more dramatic than my words can even convey.