Sometimes (the nicest thing you can do is nothing)

         (written June, 2019)

       So my husband and I have a nice ritual in warm months. We walk or ride bike almost every evening. We often detour through our garden a couple blocks away but there are a couple ways to get there -the short cut, which involves portaging our bikes over the train tracks (my husband’s preferred route), or the long way, which involves a couple blocks of backtracking.  

          Tonight we went via my route and then returned the same way. When I realized that I said, “You never even suggested going over the tracks.”  

            “I was trying to be nice to you,” BTT replied. 

            And he was. And it worked. And it made me happy And then it struck me as ironic how not doing something can actually be the kind thing. And that reminded me of something I did -or didn’t do- for him. 

      I guess we’ve lived together long enough by now that we know each other’s habits and rituals and even get annoyed at the things the other one does. Most days I like BTT’s love of taking the long way home, looping through town, driving around. Some days though I’m all, “can’t we just go home already!!??” Today was one of those days. But some tiny voice inside me said, “it doesn’t really matter. Just be quiet today and enjoy this; you’ll get home soon enough.” And I did. And we did. 

       But that wasn’t the end of my musings. That reminded me of one of my students, M. He’s a typical 12yr old boy: fun, silly, busy, and extra mischievous. This week of school, one of the most stressful of the year wherein I felt more like a lion tamer than a school teacher, he was sweet, compassionate, and, most of all, he wasn’t naughty. I’m not saying he’s usually a bad boy; not at all. I’m just saying that he usually keeps me on my toes and gives me a run for my money. But this week, he didn’t. 

     

      Here I am, over a year later, doing fewer things than ever for the sake of other’s (and my own) safety and health: Not doing unnecessary shopping, not visiting friends and family like I normally would, not venturing too far from home. I feel like the the inspiration for this post (the words in the title) must have been a quote from a book I read, but, honestly, I don’t remember anymore. My notes say I wrote this in June 2019; I rediscovered it the other day while exploring all my accumulated writings and lists and notes on my phone, and I fell in love with the idea all over again. So here it is.