Isn’t it wild how you’re called to worship the very One that brought you pain? I don’t remember the exact words, but the sentiment is vivid. God could have kept your baby alive, he went on, But He chose not to. And you still choose to trust Him with the rest of your life. Some people just say the right thing.
Somewhere recently I read this about the emptiness or hollowness you feel after losing a child; You feel empty because God asked you for everything and you gave everything. You have nothing left to give. This resonated when I read it, but when I thought about it more I realized that I myself did not find this to be completely true. Even in what I felt was the emptiest of hollownesses I was called to give a little teeny tiny bit more, over and over. And through that giving, the emptiness was filled, a little like the proverbial woman who made bread for a prophet with the last of her food, every day, but always had enough food for tomorrow.
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