Big B has the most dramatic brothers, I tell him. Perhaps the most dramatic of all the dramatic the brothers is Teddy. (and I tell you he has so many brothers -7 of them! - and they are all dramatic, but some more than others)
Teddy (a play on his real name) was what -8? when I first got to know him. Still in diapers, little and round and squishy. More inhibited (or maybe just more controllable) than he is he today. Obsessed with gloves. I mean OBSESSED. I asked Mama when the obsession with gloves started and she said he’s been a glove thief basically as long as anyone can remember.
Teddy was a few months old when he came to live with BigB’s family. He was tiny and quiet, with more trauma and neglect than anyone, particularly one so young, should have to deal with. He was an extreme example of a container baby, he had little neck control, only moved his head one way, and had learned that crying didn’t communicate his need. Mama tells the story about the first time, months later, she heard him call for her when he woke up from his nap. It wasn’t a cry, more of a happy baby talk call. That was the beginning of him figuring out how to communicate, and he just kept communicating, to the point where now he basically never shuts up.
I don’t know / have forgotten all the details of the first few years of Teddys life. He was diagnosed with multiple things. Doctors predicted that he would never walk or talk or be potty trained. He had to prove them wrong, of course. This is a testament to the love and care and tenacity of his family and also to his stubbornness and tenacity. He developed extreme seizures as a young child which he’s mostly grown out of, although he is still on medication for them as a precaution. He had a poor immune system and often got very sick as a little kid and nearly died in the back of an ambulance at least once, maybe more.
Time has passed and Teddy has grown up. Without me even noticing he’s morphed from little boy Teddy into Uncle Teddy. He’s 18 in actual years, maybe 50 years in body but still 3 or 4 in his mind. He’s a big boy with a lot of extra weight gain from his medications, and taller than me if he’d ever stand up straight. But he doesn’t understand his size and still loves to sit on our laps because his brain is still the brain of a preschooler. No one can lift him anymore, he’s basically impossible to manhandle out of bad situations (so verbal distraction skills are key when spending time with him). His muscle tone is low so he is extremely awkward and clumsy and it takes him a long time to get anywhere except places he’s not supposed to go. If there’s something he knows he’s not supposed to be doing he suddenly can run almost like the wind to go so the thing.
And, as he has been for as long as I’ve known him, Teddy is still OBSESSED with gloves🧤 and, to a lesser degree, baseball hats 🧢. He has large collections of each, but the novelty of a new pair wears off quickly. The novelty lasts much longer if the gloves (hat, etc) are stolen instead of willing given.
Teddy has more friends than anyone else I know. He rarely forgets someone he meets and has a conversation with. He may not remember their name but he will know their kids’ or spouse’s names (Austin, Carly, Chloe, Asa, Colby, are children or spouses of people we’ve connected with in the last few weeks) or their pets names (Snuggles, PruPru, Claudia are a few pets who’s owners we’ve spoken to / of recently) or remember what they do for work (cowboy, septic truck, parts guy at John Deere, lab tech, etc). He makes people feel connected to him by remembering something about them; it is truly one his of his natural gifts. However There is also the chance he will completely ignore someone and not even try to connect if someone or something more interesting is nearby.
Uncle Teddy is a big part of our life. He has always come over regularly since we got married but in the last 4 or so years he’s spent a lot of time with us. He stays with us when his family goes on vacation (as he has been now for almost a week) or shopping, he spends almost every Saturday with us, he usually comes over at least one day a week after school and in summer when there is no school it’s a lot more often that he spends part of the day at our house. He is in many ways, the Big (little ? twin?) brother LittleB doesn’t have. They are a similar age in their brains if not in their years and sizes. They fight and argue, get annoyed at and look out for each other. LittleB gets sad when he doesn’t seem Uncle Teddy for a couple days, And then promptly gets annoyed when Teddy walks in the door again and goes straight to annoying him.
I wrote this all about a year ago. Many things have changed in Teddy’s life since then. He lost his mother, The second mother he’s lost in his life. He can’t live at the only home he’s ever really known . He graduated high school and started regularly attending a day program. He has now lived at our house for the last almost 7 months. This has been a beautiful and comforting but also heartbreaking and difficult thing for all of us. I can’t venture to name his feelings about it all besides a lot of grief and a lot of acceptance. We are lucky to be able to love this kid who is no longer really a kid and have been blessed by the wildness and weirdness and laughter he has brought to our house during a long season of sadness.
I’m Posting this in honour of Teddy’s 19th birthday today. The facts as listed here do not do him justice. There are so many more things I could write about who he is and stories I could tell about life with him. (Let me know if you’re interested in more. I really could probably fill a book.) To know him is to love him. but also to know him is to get annoyed at him. both can be true. This kid is here doing the Lord’s work, one hug, stolen glove and swear word at a time 🧤❤️
No comments:
Post a Comment