Good Day, Bad Day

Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday the weather was sunshiney and perfect and the day went well and passed swiftly. The children were sweet and kind to one another, remembered the things they were supposed to remember, didn't argue or fight on the playground, were well behaved all day long and performed so beautifully during their Christmas program practice that I rewarded their good behaviour with some free time to work on fun projects. They were happy scholars and I was a happy teacher and sent them all home with a benevolent heart, a little sad that the day was gone so quickly.

Today was not  a good day. The weather was cloudy and depressing and blowing snow into my face and, although the day didn't drag, I wIshed from the beginning of it that it was already over. The children all seemed a little sluggish and attitudish, and chaos kept interrupting them.  They made dreadful mistakes in their English lessons and forgot important math skills. On the playground, they argued and goofed off and all day they were constantly testing the boundaries of rules in subtle ways I wasn't prepared to deal with. They made fun and tattled instead of yesterday's kindness and, durning the afternoon practice session, they whispered and got distracted. The day ended abruptly but not badly; in fact from last recess on it climbed in niceNess and ended on a positive note. But I was only too happy to send the last child out the door and huddle on my teacher chair, my head on my desk and look out at the grey day that matched my mood.

By tonight I wonder if the contrast of the two days was a little of a lesson for the teacher.
I wonder if this is how God sees me -well behaved and nice one day and irresponsible and chaotic the next.

"That Jordanna," I can imagine Him saying to his Angel Friends. "I am happy to see what she's doing today.  She's been patient and happy all day long ! She hasn't said one nasty thing about anyone and when someone told her off she didn't even get defensive and angry. She's even making a special effort to do something kind for some downtrodden individual tonight.  I will give her a tiny blessing because she's done so well today."

Of course God knows everything so He wouldn't be surprised if His narration of my doings the following day quickly turned negative. "Jordanna didn't leave her house without praying this morning. It's a good  thing too, because that prayer is the only thing that's keeping her together today. To begin with, she wasn't extremely early for school so she didn't have enough minutes of silence alone with the books to get herself enthused about the day's English lessons. She lost track of time during singing so math class was 6 minutes too short and she got a little tense and her students felt pressured. She laughed at some unkindness (not among students) when she should have stuck up for the unfortunate individual being mocked. She didn't respond responsibly to a coteacher's disciplinary decisions and, to make matters worse, gossiped with other coteachers about. And all day she's been embracing self-pity with open arms, sighing about the very things that, as she will one day  realize, are an important part of making her into the person I envision her being."

My God has more patience for me on my bad days than I have my students on their bad days. I will learn from Him.

-the sunset watcher