DAY 20: Random Inspiration
Run Toward the Roar
This phrase has something to do with animals running toward roaring hunting lions. I didn’t do any research; I just saw the words once and then they were part of my brain and wouldn’t leave.
The Roar is
powerful.
LOUD.
Intimidating.
The Roar is
everything I fear
everything that overwhelms my joy
everything I give up on
everything I don’t ever try
The Roar is waiting to eat me alive.
This December, The Roar is loud. The Roar is alive.
The Roar is not seeing my family this Christmas.
The Roar is no Christmas Morning Christmas Program in Steinbach church.
The Roar is no super traditional ham and turkey dinner with all of BTT’s family squished noisily around one long table.
The Roar is long dark evening and mornings.
The Roar is grocery stores sold out of The Things We Think We Need.
The Roar is Loneliness.
The Roar is Self-pity.
The Roar is Unthankfulness.
Running towards the Roar is harder this December, but it means embracing the strangeness off this season.
It means using calls and video calls and emails and long messaging conversations and actual snail mail and my blog to connect with the people I wish I could see in person.
It means taking joy in the stillness this Christmas.
It means eating nontraditional foods that we love instead of traditional foods that we don’t love as much.
It means pouring myself into the people I can see
It means finding contentment and fulfillment in the small things: imaginary UFOS, the night sky, diamanté snow drifts under a streetlight, a random conversation with one of T’s friends he brought to our house, drinking festive mocktails with BTT, watching a meteor shower, talking to the town kids.
Running Toward the Roar this Christmas means looking at the Christmas Star instead of at traditions and activities and people. Wise men still follow the light of the Star. That Star shines its beauty upon a cross, and the shadow falls over a tomb. (poetic song lyrics written by I-don’t-know-who)
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