Day 16: Someone I miss
I Miss People I Used to Know
Sapphy and Roses. Always. And forever. Will be the people I miss. But. I’ve written a lot about them so I won’t repeat myself. And If I start naming all people I miss, this list will be lonG becos basically we don’t see anyone this year. So I’ll do the selfish thing and write about me once again. On the other hand, someone pointed out to me that the people I love may not want to be written about, so perhaps writing about myself is the kindest thing.
Someone I Miss
Myself. Yesterday I was running away from myself. Today I’m missing myself.
I miss unbroken me, the one before my grandpa died, my best friend suddenly died, my uncle died. The me before I saw Sadness and knew Grief.
I miss naïve 15 year old me who, together with a tight knit group of idealistic missionary kids my age, spent hours talking out all of life’s problems (the ones we were aware of at that time anyway) and found solutions for everything and everyone.
I miss the funnest me, the funniest me, the chillest me, the friendliest me. Maybe part of her still is with me somewhere deep inside, but I remember the exact moment on a fellucca At sunset that I felt most of that personality slip into the murky depths of the Nile. They say you leave a piece of you whenever you go. That piece of Me stayed in Egypt. I think it would’ve been happier staying in Malawi, but Egypt was the last place my feet touch African soil sand so it ended up there.
I miss 17 year old me. Who was irresponsible and erratic and cray and stranger than I am now, if that’s even possible.
I miss the me who thought less about what other people think. Her I’m pretty sure I will be able to find again.
I miss decisive me. She disappeared some time around me turning 21. Maybe she’s hiding, just waiting for me to reclaim her on a future birthday.
Maybe all the past me’s are.
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